Breastfeeding Struggles

Drinking His Breakfast

We are really struggling with the breastfeeding. We still haven't had to resort to supplementing with formula, but it has been very close at times. Standing there in the formula aisle last night, picking up some "just in case," had me near tears. It's just not what Ross or I wanted for our son.

We want so much to be able to continue with breastmilk until Xander is at least one... but it seems like Fate has been against us from day one. His stay in the NICU really threw us for a loop. That definitely wasn't in the Ultimate Plan! We always figured we could work on breastfeeding once we got home. There had always been the hope that things would get easier once we were away from the watchful eyes of nurses, doctors and lactation consultants. It was so stressful.

It didn't get easier. Xander tore my nipples with a terrible latch. Nursing brought me to tears. Even with the help of several skilled lactation consultants, we still couldn't get it. He just preferred the bottle. It was easier... for both of us.

Exclusively pumping takes its own toll, though. It's not much easier on the body than baby, really. You also don't get as much through pumping as you do through direct nursing. There is a constant struggle to maintain supply... whether through diet, supplements or constant pumping sessions. I'm losing the battle. My supply is down to the point that I am pumping just before he feeds and what I do pump is just enough to keep him growing.

We've changed our plans for introducing solids because of the breastfeeding struggle. Originally we had aimed for a year ,but brought it back to nine months so that he could be eating solids enough to enjoy a bit of cake on his birthday. A silly reason, I know... but it was a moment we didn't want to miss out on. Now, we are planning to begin introducing solids in his sixth month. I'm following a plan where I introduce actual foods instead of cereals. His first food will be mashed banana. That's a moment I'll definitely need to capture on camera!